Apparations and Arsenic
by Superman Skank
Summary: Lucy prepares to take the arsenic, when something - or rather somebody - stops her.


Lucy turned the bottle of arsenic over in her hands. It was quite a small bottle really, a small bottle with a peeling label, but it was big enough to do the job. She found great reassurance in knowing that she could end it all now, if she liked. The choice was hers. Nobody was going to make it for. Finally, something she _could _control. For now she wrapped the bottle up hastily in a fussy hanker chief and tucked it away in the draw of her dressing table. She would take it tonight, when dear little Johanna was asleep.

Lucy felt guilty, of course she did. But Johanna would be better off without a mother like her.

"You don't have to take it, Lucy," A voice Lucy never thought she'd hear again sounded from behind her, "I've come home."

Gasping, Lucy turned around in a hushed rustle of her cream and powder blue dress. And there he stood, her favourite smile on his face, her Benjamin. He hadn't changed a bit. He still had the lovely, warm twinkle in his dark eyes, still had the thick locks of rich brown hair that she had loved so much. She could hardly dare believe it. Lucy took a few steps forward towards him. She rested a hand on Benjamin's cheek. The skin there was warm, wonderfully warm.

"It's you," Lucy whispered, "It's really you."

Benjamin nodded, still smiling. He removed his leather coat and draped it over the rocking chair in the corner. Lucy noticed that his footsteps had made prints over the dusty floor. "You don't have to be frightened anymore, my love," Benjamin said, wrapping his fingers in the yellow hair he had missed so much.

Lucy threw herself against his chest, breathing his scent in heavily. "I've missed you so much," She gasped, she stared up in to his eyes, "But how can you be here? You were never supposed to come home."

"Lets not worry about that now, it's all over," Benjamin said.

Lucy nodded, but she still felt wary. "Are you here forever? Will you still be here tomorrow? And the next day... and the next..." She was rambling now, her heart was beating fast with panic. She couldn't bear the thought of having to loose him all over again.

"Ssh," Benjamin said soothingly, resting a finger against Lucy's trembling lips, "Forever, my angel. Forever."

"I've been going out of my mind these past few months," Lucy fretted, "That damn judge, he won't leave me alone. He..." She paused, maybe now wasn't the time to tell of her attack. Benjamin had only just returned, she couldn't ruin the happiness just yet.

"No one's gonna harm you, not while I'm around," Benjamin told her firmly.

A squeal interrupted them. They both turned to see Johanna stood up in her crib, her hands clutching the railings. She squawked like a baby bird, desperate not to be ignored. Lucy drew herself away with a smile. She walked over to the crib and carefully lifted her daughter up in to her arms. "Hush now, baby," She muttered, "Daddy's home."

And she turned, a beaming smile on her hopeful face. The smile faltered. The room was empty. The coat was gone from the chair. The footsteps in the dust had vanished. Lucy clutched her baby to her chest, rocking Johanna as she began to wail. She swallowed down the lump in her throat as realisation came crashing down on her.

She was going mad, she knew it.

And the time was now.

Lucy almost ran out of the room, nearly tripping down the stairs. She entered the pie shop where a bored looking Mrs Lovett was banging a rolling pin against a lump of moulded looking dough. "Are you alright, love?" The baker asked, narrowing her eyes in concern as she stared at the frantic looking Lucy stood in front of her.

"There's something I need to do," Lucy said in a rushed voice, her pale cheeks flushed, "Can you take care of Johanna for me for a little while?"

"Of course," Mrs Lovett said, dropping her rolling pin with a bang and coming out from behind the counter, she dusted off her hands on her stained apron before reaching out for the baby, "She's a bonny little love, isn't she? Eyes just like her fathers." She muttered as she rocked her.

Lucy almost choked. She nodded quickly before rushing off again. Mrs Lovett stared after her with curious eyes, but did not follow. The poor girl wasn't right, she had known that for a while. Silly little nit, she was.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Lucy was tearing open the drawer. She picked up the bottle of arsenic and held it close to her chest, closing her eyes tightly as a tear dripped down her cheek.

Benjamin was never coming back, she knew that now.


End file.
